New Elon Musk Funded Startup to Crowdsource the Blood of Young Virgins

By April 19, 2019 May 23rd, 2019 Infinite Scroll

SAN FRANCISCO – Nos4atu, an Elon Musk backed start-up dedicated to crowdsourcing the blood of the young to extend the life of its rich clients, has raised over $400 million of Round A venture capital funding, according to documents filed with the Securities Exchange Commission.

This gives the fledgling startup nearly a billion dollars on hand.

The buzz around the secretive company is only growing, with Techcrunch calling it “a disruptive game changer” and a lengthy write-up on PandoDaily calling it “Musk’s next miracle.”

Nos4atu is as much a social innovation as it is a technical one,” editor Sarah Lacy wrote.  “A seamless plasma-focused sharing economy platform for a renewable biological resource that continuously integrates its gamification strategy into the physical world.”

Lacy added that based on early beta-test data, “in the post Nos4atu world, there will be no need for the meritocracy winners to have to purchase the blood of the young, or even their kidneys or hearts.  The addictive series of escalating merit badges, bonus levels, awards, and status markers get the users to pay money to the platform’s premium customers to give them their blood and vital organs.  It’s a win/win.”

A spokesman for Nos4atu declined to comment, but a company employee, speaking on condition of anonymity, said that an additional capital round of select private investors would be made, before an initial product launch in 2018.  Other significant investors include Peter Thiel, Ray Kurzweil, and the Trump Foundation. It will be headquartered in San Francisco’s Tenderloin district, on the same block as Twitter.